Dolce & Gabanna is so Italian. It’s italian like spaghetti and meatballs, FIATs and family. What animal defines the italian way?

A WHALE, A KILLER WHALE. Killer whales roll deep, out in the wild they are pretty much a typical organized gang, kind of like a MOB or a really badass family. What better animal to represent? Plus they also love Prosecco and emphasizing words with their fins. oh and Fin is an italian word for end, and a fin is like the end of a whale!!! crazeballs!!

My second option for the non italian coastliners was an adorable little turtle. He’s just slowly following in the steps of his turtle ancestors, The Ninja Turtles! They’re all italian too! well they’re named after italians and only eat pizza, so it’s official in my book.

TOM FORD’s ads have a way of making you feel like a voyeur. Something naughty is happening but you need to pretend that you want to look away but you dont.

Two Nocturnal creatures that have barely received accolade are the Lemur and the Owl.

The Lemur is a weird little guy, kind of like a creepy neighbor that you later see on the 10 ‘o clock news for collecting smelly socks and you say “He kept to himself, I don’t know much about him but once I swear I saw a foot in the incinerator” all credit goes to my friends at BLASIAN.US for reminding me of ihow truly creepy Lemur’s are.

Then there’s the Owl,  a night owl to be exact, dude isn’t doing anything illegal, it’s pretty obvious he may peek into your window at night, but he’s just doing his job. Like everything else he does it’s usually after dusk. He eats and hangs out with his homies, works hard for the $$ like a 24 hour diner waitress or a DJ type of way. A dolla makes him holla! Someone book him for a shoot. Or a video like Aaliyah’s Are You that Somebody video.

When you see the living room in this Balenciaga Spring 2012 ad, don’t you think artsy, grimy chinatown apartment? Well chinatown is notoriously know for being stinky and the human to rodent ratio is a strong 2:1, but instead of placing a not so cute rat on this ad, I opted for it’s cuter cousin the hamster. Hamsters need their moment in chic-ness, let’s cast them in something more fullfilling than the Hamster-Dance Kia Commercial.